True Love


Today, marks the 10 year anniversary since I ended the relationship with the true love of my life. Let me tell you a little bit about this relationship and how it has shaped me going forward.

When I was 20, I met a guy called Will*. We met through a friend and hit it off as friends straight away. One day he asked me if he could take me on a date. I said ‘Yes’…. We arranged to go on a date and guess what….. This one got rushed into hospital with a flear up of Gatricperexia… FFS! I had to cancel my date with him ( he did not know any of health conditions)…. He of course thought I had cold feet and was messing him around…. Picture from a hospital bed on drips soon made him realise I was being honest…. Once discharged, we met up and the rest was history.

With in a few weeks, I ‘knew’ I was in love and generally thought he was the one for me, I met his friends, family and after I finished Uni that year, we got a place together. We started to book holidays to go away together, including those trips around UK with friends as a couple – that’s never happened before. We were pretty much inseparable. – Everything felt perfect and it really was.

One of the key things for me is, I got on so well with his family, they were incredible and his mum was like a mum number 2 to me and any time i had surgery and so forth she always looked after me, and his sister was like a. best friend! I felt part of the family, me and his mum, sister and there aunties and cousins would go shopping in Liverpool too.

As many people know, I love USA, when I was in the states, i bought a white gold ring and had it engraved with the year/date we got together and upon returning to the UK I asked him to marry me on his birthday. He said ‘Yes, but, I want to ask you, and I will in due course’ – He would wear the ring majority of the time as well, just not at work as he didnt want to ruin it ( window cleaner ).

How did it go wrong?

I bet you are all thinking where did it go so badly wrong? Well, as people know I don’t like smoking, gambling and heavy drinkers…. This soon started and I needed to get it nipped in the bud. I did not want to be kissing an ashtray, or having to deal with a hangover boyfriend in the mornings, he started spending around £250-500 a week gambling which is a lot of money (to me).

He explained that it was his money (quite rightly) and he would do what he wanted, and it was his body to intake what he needed and wanted and he wouldn’t quit for anyone but himself. – now if it was true love, I am pretty confident you would not do that if you knew it would upset your partner. Anyway, this continued for quite some time and it started to affect me.

I started looking to foster as my job and we had a spare room, little be known, he then arranged a contract for his best friend and his girlfriend to move in without consulting me first – into our house! When I came home at weekends I would find a drunken friend on our sofa with curry everywhere as he has fell asleep. This meant, I had to move out and commuted between my parents and his parents. It was getting unhealthy. I loved the guy so much, but he was just changing into someone that he wasn’t right at the start.

We went away for my 21st birthday and had a fantastic time in Tenerife then the night before my 21st. We where doing doubles on pool with two lads, of course as its by the pool side i was in a bikini as the lads where all in swimming trunks.

Will* didn’t like this. When I got through to the next round and then it was me vs some guy. He got jealous and stormed off. I went after him going down the stairs, he threw his drink over me and pushed me telling me to go away. As he pushed me i fell down the stairs….I ended the relationship that night!

Things where a little iffy the next day. We got back together after an open conversation and things just wasn’t the same. I had a charity night and I had organized a music gig. I got zero support from him that night and instead he start with his friends and got drunk.

The only time he supported me was for the 5mins he dressed as my mascot. That night i raised around £500 which was great in an area whereby not many people knew of me. That night I realised, he is not going to be the guy for me. In the morning we had a conversation and broken up.

True Love – Is it possible to find again?

So what have i learned about True Love? sometimes it isn’t resipurated and the person you love, might not love you in the same way. That true love can be one sided. That i do believe if they love you like they say then they would take on board your concerns.

I do seriously believe it is possible to love again and experience true love. I have had boyfriends since and I have experience some form of love. Not the type whereby I would say, ‘i want to marry this guy’. I have been proposed to twice, and said no as i don’t believe they here the one for me.

I know Mr Right is out there for me. He might be one of my best friends or a colleague at work, or the guy at my local Tesco. I really do not know, I might not have even met him. What I do know and believe, he is out there. The right person will love me for me. I will love them for them. I now know what I will accept and tolerate in a relationship and what I want

It’s important you value yourself, your thoughts, your feelings and if you have principals that you seriously stick to them.